So close but invisible

Ever since the news about the pandemic came out around March 2020, I had always been open to the fact that one day it would hit our family too..It has. Yesterday an elderly uncle from our extended family succumbed to Covid-19. 9 out of 10 members of our extended family have recovered from Covid-19

The narrative has started getting personal within a short span of 3 months. My parents are already in an apartment complex which is a containment zone. I have heard enough cases of colleagues of the partner battling the disease. I am acutely aware that all beds in private and government hospitals are full and this is now a personal survival story.

Kiddo still needs to go on a walk twice a day wearing his mask. His school has reopened online. I have taken a part time gig at school to balance both work and home. So life goes on..

I hope there would be a day when I could go back to school and meet my kids in person, take a walk at the seashore and have lunch at an outdoorsy restaurant. This seems like a distant dream. Right now I am counting on my blessings and focusing on survival. By the way I have to draft my WILL.

A blind eye to survive – Rant post

For how many horrors have we turned a blind eye just because it does not affect us personally ?

An Indian heavy hand at Kashmir , Xinjiang re-education camps , China’s single handed vision of reestablishing it’s Belt and Road initiative, Increased racism and white politics in the United States, Brexit, water scarcity in Nigeria , North  Korea racing ahead for nuclear warheads, war for more than a decade in Afghanistan, Iraq, Sudan and Syria ! Now a global pandemic !! I have not yet talked about mindless consumerism , pollution of natural resources, chemical farming and the inability of a common man to empathize with each other. We read all this in news..

After reading such a depressing set of news , I started on Vickor Frankl’s “Man’s Search for Meaning “. He is a survivor of the Nazi concentration camp and one section of his book is entirely devoted to the psychology of a camp inmate.

A camp inmate progresses from shock and denial, to apathy so that he learns to survive the camp life. When I reflected on the current situation in the world and our own response I sometimes feel that our world is driven constantly on survival instincts that we are turning a blind eye to all the injustice around us.

I know that people around the world are suffering.. but I am scared that my husband will loose his job or my kid may not be able to survive the competition in the ever unjust world. I have to get meals and laundry done and keep myself updated with XYZ course so that I have a chance to crack my next job interview. Bloody ppl who laid me off !! How would I pay my EMI for the car that I got last year.. Can you get the drift ??

Our world is unfortunately being constantly driven by a lot of unwanted luxury. It reminds me of Gandhi’s quote ” The world has everything for every man’s need and not his greed “. We are always striving towards a better life and are missing sight on who we are harming on the way towards of goals – nature, relationships with family and friends and what not.

That has been my rant for the day and yes I have many more..But I have to rush off to do that XYZ course.. So see you till next time !

Queer times

When I follow the events of coronovirus unraveling in Europe, it looks like a nightmare in the day light. I am concerned for my lil brother who is now in Switzerland , so far away from family.

On the other hand, there are jokes circulating about work from home and the virus itself, hot debates on whether the Indian government and people are well prepared for an epidemic circulating in social media.

Our gated community has shut down pool, gym , game courts and the park. An old couple who is my neighbour succumbed to old age and a mysterious illness.

Schools are shut. I am setting up holiday homework for my kids and doing a couple of online courses to keep myself more informed about teaching. I am inventing newer ways of engaging kiddo productively.

These are queer times and I hope we would limp back to normalcy.

One post per month- eh ?

Out of the blue, today turned out to be MY kind of Sunday morning and I wanted to record it for posterity before it gets lost in the sands of time.  I logged in blogger and caught up with posts written by my favourite bloggers. Then I finally hit on Tharani’s post. Argh !! One blog post per month !!

This is a good start for March. I am yet to pay my rent and my water bill. I still remember that it is Mar 1 and that is a great achievement for me . I actually woke up early , went for a walk and had a hair wash before kiddo woke up ,today.

At 9:00 am we did veggie shopping and I managed to sneak in a very ripe tomato to grow a tomato plant in our kitchen garden. The vallarai is all eaten up now and it is time to grow a new plant.

Around 9:30 am , the extended family packed up to go the beach. Kiddo was sitting in the back seat in the car between his grandparents and ensuring if ALL have boarded the car. We had a great time in the beach. Kiddo lurved playing with the waves. We got a few freshly caught red snappers from the fisherwomen. (7 fishes for 120 Rs.)

We came back home around 10:30 am. I cleaned the fish and marinate in a simple chilly powder, turmeric powder, salt , pepper powder mixture with a dash of squeezed lemon and crushed garlic. Then I gave kiddo a hair wash and after an hour roasted fish as mid morning snack for all of us. !!

Ah !! I wish every Sunday would be like this with a simple beach outing and an appreciation for the simple pleasures of life.

Self sufficiency and balance

Being self sufficient physically, emotionally , economically had always been a goal for me.

For a little while, in the process of striving for economic independence despite having a small kid, I lost sight of basics like a good night sleep, healthy eating , mindful living and making connections with others. The society always looked at me with awe as a super woman though I was not happy deep inside.

This phase of my life, my earnings had taken a huge hit and my career stands dangling at an edge. But I am able to make time for kiddo, understand and learn more about my areas of interest and spend time with children. I feel so privileged and happy.

The path ahead seems hazy. I am just taking one step at a time, giving my best and still ensuring that I draw boundaries ( sleep, food , kiddo, mindfulness) so that my cup runneth full.  I am trying to become a conscious minimalist in every aspect except clothes. I am striving to shine more positivity, give more and be grateful.

Lead kindly Light

I am not sure if I might post in-between on 2020. Thank you fellow bloggers for writing, cheering and commenting. It had been great fun to be a part of this blogathon !

Self love

There are very few days when I feel super motivated and positive about myself. Today is one such day despite my life being normal.

After all , is not self love the least thing that we can give to ourselves. When I work hard for my children , workplace and home , why cannot I work a bit more for myself too !

Unless I start treating myself with respect, I cannot expect others to treat me the same. So going forward, I am not going to be shy to give my body and soul good care ! So how do I do it?

  • Make time for a morning walk every day. It would help me become physically fit and energetic
  • Take at least 7 minutes to drink evening tea with some nice rusk.
  • Plan work ahead and reach targets.
  • Do not over commit at work. Take things slow. It is ok..there is no race. In life the journey matters as much as the destination.
  • Buy that pretty dress, wear it and look good in it !

Water!

Today, I was taking the chapter water for Grade 1. While a lot of children knew about technical terms like condensation and precipitation , very few knew about the ocean , sea , river and lakes around us.

So today’s class was spent just in knowing how water is important for us , local water bodies, uses of water and how we are polluting our freshwater sources. It was a base for relating text book to real life and it was so much fun.

I wish I can take these kids on a field trip to see the Bay of Bengal, the Adayar river, Shollinganalur lake and Pallikaranai lotus pond. It is ironic that in a city a teacher should educate and take children to water bodies while in villages , children organically learn it was nature is very much a part of their life.