Sometimes when I look back at myself I find me as some one who keeps rushing, starting a lot of activities and loses focus on what is important.. September has been very confusing and overwhelming. I have realized that am a kind of person who would focus on an activity only if I passion for it and when I do it I really excel.. And I do require my daily dose of entertainment – art, going out and books to keep me sane.. And I do not like a half done activity or some thing that is stretching too long.. It was only when I realized this aspect of me am thankful that I did not take grad school as an option and chose an average life.. I definitely do not like mediocrity. At the same time I do detest a lack of variety in life where the chief goal is to reach the top in one particular field. If I do have large doses of passion in what I am doing I can indeed trade my variety for focus. But what is that one passion? I have not yet figured it out…Some times I ask to myself what significant I have achieved till date and what I value a lot.. I still draw a blank. Then I came across this quote and I could have some hope that could leave something significant to the best of my powers.
“To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson.”
Little steps am taking like helping a stranger or colleague with no expectation, a kind word said, the chores done, the accounts looked at everyday. Some pleasures now and then like a small painting done for a loved one, a card sent, a place visited, a new recipe tried now and then. This month I had a chance to go to Hauz Khas village after so long in Gurgaon. I remember it as yesterday. A squabbling couple we went, the partner a bit preoccupied coz of a sick patient and me really mad as we had little family time that week. It was a warm balmy evening and the first view I had of the lake and the madrasa dotted with love birds lost in their world and college buddies celebrating days of togetherness I argued lesser and looked at the funny side of our situation. We clicked a few snaps ,finished of with desert in a homely café, and came back much in peace, the partner rushing back to hospital for an emergency and me in zen state.
Bhaag Milka Bhaag touched me a lot, Lunch box surprisingly didn’t. It felt incomplete. But I did like the details and artistic part of the movie. We visited the Chattarpur mandir on the first day of Navratri and we were lucky to have a good darshan of Goddess Katyayani. Signing of with a card done for a well wisher and friend who was there for me when I was through a difficult time.