The biggest worry these days for me is about kiddo’s future and how he would be able to navigate through the jigsaw of an unfair bad world. Then somedays it is plain frustration and wanting to give up with him when he is in behaviour tra-la mode. Some days there are thoughts of sustainability , simple living, going back to the roots. 

In this capitalist society which we are a part of, everything is commodified with a price tag.  In the current employment structure, niche skills, time of other human beings and  human thoughts is the most valued . Manual labour and natural resources are at  the bottom of the worthyness pyramid and is remunerated very cheaply.

It takes me raising a child who is different to think-  When am I going to value myself and my child for who WE are instead of valuing ourself with what OTHERS think about us and how well we could COMMODIFY ourselves.

This thought sometimes leads me to deeper questions that have been commonly sought by eastern mystics.  How do I effectively utilise what has been endowed to me by the creator? How do I live a life well spent? How do I live a life with minimal disturbances to other life around me? 

When I was young, I used to think that I was smart and it was due to my hard work. My child however taught me that good looks and brains that fit in the society’s needs are what the creator has endowed upon us. So where comes “our” smartness? It comes probably in the way we utilise the time on earth and the creator endowed abilities to leave the world a better place for our children. 

But what qualifies for a better place is something which requires a lot of thought. That probably requires a whole different post. What is your opinion of leaving the world as a better place for our children?

Sitting at the gate

It has started getting unbearably hot in Chennai.Do you know that the treated sewage water that we use to water the lawn and plants in our complex is a breeding ground to a small mosquito kind of an insect and it is buzzing all over in the park early in the morning. I could not wait for kiddo in the park while his fitness class is going on as the mosquitoes started its onslaught on me. So here I am sitting in the entrance of my apartment block , waiting hoping that kiddo would return soon so that I can give him his morning milk.

I am so glad that work has started in the construction site by our home after he was deposited in his class. Had it started earlier, it would be difficult to pull him from there to his fitness class. Poor kiddo. I truly do not want to put him through all these regime. Everything said , I pray still that be would benefit from this as he did from occupational therapy classes that he went pretty early in his life.

While I consciously want to build my own strength , endurance and fitness, I am doing little so in that direction. Also I just can’t leave an empty space in my life and relish it enough. These two are going to be my twin goals for self care, this year. I would want to practice atleast one of them for an hour every day and hope that it compounds through the year.

Today’s self care is to be leave empty spaces. So here I am, sharing my rambling and I have come up with a blog post. Now I am hoping that my resolution, stays. C ya, till the next inspiration strikes me .